Taking A Ride
by KaramelKat
Summary: When Jacob imprints unexpectedly, Bella must find a new source of strength to face life without her personal sun. Will she fall into old habits or will she find a new path?


_**Written for October Skies who has been kind enough to beta my stories for me even when I haven't gotten around to fixing all of them yet. Thank you so much for all your work!**_

_Disclaimer:__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_~*Sometime in the future*~_

It was a strong, dependable truck.

The fire engine red paint finish was worn and faded with age to a dull, burnt red. The solid steel fenders were streaked with rust from years of life in a damp, drizzly climate. The engine was noticeably loud even when just idling at a stop light and would protest at being driven over speeds of 50 mph. The interior was as pallid and dated as the exterior, the smell of diesel lingering in the seats.

It was a strong, dependable truck.

I touched the hood of the truck, a smile gracing my lips as I thought about all the memories it held for me.

_"Don't throw up okay? I've only got a ten, and if Paul got his teeth into Jacob..."_

Embry had won that bet against Jared that day. Fifteen bucks. I could remember it so clearly even though it was long ago.

_"Your truck is slow"_

_"Sorry."_

I had always been apologizing back then. For everything.

_~*March 2006*~_

"I'm so sorry."

The words slipped easily out of my mouth. The recipient of my words, Sue Clearwater, nodded her head absently. I imagine she had received the same apologetic phrase many times today. Tears streaked down her face, little traces of make-up creating trails upon her cheeks. Her husband Harry Clearwater had died of a heart attack just three days ago. His body had been cremated and he had asked that his ashes be scattered into the ocean, off the cliffs of La Push his home reservation. Harry had been one of my dad Charlie's best friends, a fisherman by nature, and a celebrated elder on the Council of the Quileute tribe.

I hugged my arms close to myself, snuggling into the thin, black cardigan I wore as I moved away from Sue to let other mourners share their sympathy. The Olympic Peninsula wind was not kind to those of a human nature today. The cold breeze blowing in off the cliffs caused goose bumps to lift the hairs on my arm in response. I glanced around the bluffs, noting the only ones not affected by the cold weather were Paul, Sam, Jared, Jacob and Embry.

Of course not. They weren't human. They were werewolves.

I shivered as the brisk wind tossed my long, brown hair in every direction. It caused my dark skirt to billow around my ankles, threatening to trip me as I walked. Not that it needed any help. My clumsiness was legendary and I stayed away from the cliff's edge as I walked over to where the pack was standing.

To my surprise they were standing in a group around Seth and Leah Clearwater. As I approached the group, their body language read protective concern for the siblings. It made sense. Harry was an important member of the council and in on the tribe's most closely guarded secret. His funeral had produced a large turnout.

I hadn't talked to Jacob since about four days ago. I tried to phone him but Billy had insisted he was busy with the funeral which is why he hadn't been able to talk to me the past few days. I made my way towards the boys, wanting to get a moment alone to catch up with Jacob.

I slowed my walk as I neared them, hanging back slightly in hopes of catching Jake's attention without the other's noticing. It's not that I didn't like the pack. Some of them were pretty nice and funny like Embry and Jared. It was just that I got nervous around Sam and Paul. I was pretty sure they didn't like me much since Jake inadvertently let on the secret of their tribe to an outsider. It also didn't help that my ex-boyfriend Edward Cullen was one of their mortal enemies.

Thinking of Edward, I glanced over at Sue Clearwater for a moment, a pang of grief wracking me as I compared her loss to mine. The moment Edward had left me that day last August; he may as well have died because a huge part of me died that day as well.

My gaze moved from Sue, to Leah and Seth. Whereas Sue and I had both lost the love of our lives, Seth and Leah had lost their father. Seth, usually so bright and cheerful, was openly crying while Jared had a comforting hand on his shoulder. I glanced over to Leah whose face was impassive.

At least, that's what I first thought. Upon closer look I could see tears brimming in her coal dark eyes, never falling upon her cheek. She would sometimes swallow a bit convulsively and I got the feeling she didn't want to be seen crying in public. There was a shift of movement behind her and my eyes focused on a crisp white shirt paired with dark black pants, bronze skin and short jet-black hair.

Jacob.

I smiled and started to step forward just as Jake settled his arm around Leah's shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. My astonishment at the gesture was doubled when she actually leaned back into his chest and turned her head, laying it there, her hand reaching up to cover his where it rested. There was no mistaking the expression of their bodies locked in what was clearly a lover's comforting embrace.

My footstep froze. I felt my confusion mount as I looked at Jake who wasn't even glancing in my direction. It was like he only had eyes for Leah. He was staring at her the same way I had once caught Sam looking upon Emily. It was like she was the earth, moon and sun all in one.

I don't know how long I stood there in shock but I heard my name being called and shook my head to clear my stupor.

"Bella!" It was Embry who had finally noticed me a few feet away from the pack.

"Hi Embry." I managed a tiny, uncertain smile in his direction. My gaze kept shooting back and forth between him and the two lovebirds, questions hovering in my brain that went unasked.

Hey Bells," Jake finally looked at me. My smile for him was genuine although I know my puzzlement still lingered on my face. Jacob never usually wasted an opportunity to be next to me and yet he stayed firmly planted by Leah's side. His dark, black eyes that always regarded me with loving adoration were filled with friendly interest and nothing more.

"Hey Jake," I replied as I tried to figure out the changes in his behavior. As I watched him, I became aware that Leah was regarding me from underneath her long lashes, her stare cool and reserved. It reminded me of Rosalie, whose golden eyes had the capacity to unnerve me with her long, cold, inscrutable looks. Leah was a human version of that.

My voice shook a little as I said, "Hey Leah. I'm really sorry about your Dad." I managed to walk a few steps closer towards the pack, but even without the distance between us, by not having Jake stand next to me, I felt like a complete outsider. My arms instinctively found their way across my stomach in response to that.

Leah's stare never wavered as she nodded her head curtly to my words. Still reeling from the awareness of my interloper status, I could hear the hesitation in my voice as I said, "You too Seth." My voice sounded weak.

"Thanks Bella," Seth's voice was filled with pain as he responded to me. Sam added his large hand to Seth's other shoulder and he leaned forward to murmur into Seth's ear. It was inaudible to me but the others seemed to be aware of what was being said.

I glanced over at Jake who still hadn't left Leah's presence. He was no longer behind her. He was next to her and my eyes didn't miss that their hands were interlocked at the fingers as they stood side by side.

"Uh…Jake?" I hated that my voice sounded uncertain as I tried to get his attention. All eyes swiveled to me, butterflies kicking up in my stomach the moment they did. "Can I talk to you?" I inclined my head away from the group, swallowing around the ball of dread that appeared in my throat any time I was the center of attention.

It worsened as Jake said, "Now Bella? It's really not a good time." He barely registered a glance my way, his eyes only for the mourning girl in front of him.

My heart plummeted and my stomach dropped as I realized I was getting the brush off. From Jacob. What could I say to that?

"I guess it can wait."

Jared and Sam began leading Seth off towards the wooded areas of the cliffs. Paul trailed after them, glancing over his shoulder at Jacob and Leah, shaking his head and smirking. I found myself wondering what amused him so much as I looked back at those remaining. Jacob and Leah, looking very cozy, along with Embry and I were left. I found myself curious if Embry felt as self-conscious as I did at being with the paramours.

"Charlie's probably going to your house," I said to Leah for lack of anything better than another sympathetic apology. "I'll see you guys there?" My statement came out as more of a question, not certain of the reception I'd find at the Clearwater house. "I've got the truck."

Jake nodded his head. "We'll see you there." His voice was not unfriendly, but the tone, missing its usual eagerness to please, was foreign to me. Mystified and worried about these changes in him, I longed to talk to him and find out what happened to him. Instead of speaking up though, I just nodded my head and turned to leave.

"Hey Bella, can I catch a ride with you and Charlie over to Seth's?" Embry's voice stopped me before I made it two steps.

I turned towards him and nodded my head. "Yeah, sure Embry."

"Thanks!" He flashed me a large smile, his white teeth contrasting to his dark skin. "See you there Jake. Don't do anything I would do on the way there," he tossed over his shoulder snickering as he strode towards me. Jacob was glowering at Embry before I turned away from the sight of him and Leah.

I tried to match my steps to Embry's longer strides but it was nearly impossible without tripping over my feet. Adding to my distress, my mind was replaying the image of Jacob and Leah's embrace over and over, distracting me. What was going on with those two?

We approached the truck and I clambered in on the driver's side. "Sorry it's just me," I told Embry as he got in on the other side. "Charlie's got the cruiser."

"What are you apologizing for?" Embry asked as he slid smoothly into the passenger seat. "It's cool."

I nodded my head and started the truck; completing a three point turn from where everyone had parked haphazardly along the dirt road leading up to the cliffs. As I crept slowly down the dirt road at a sedate 25mph I was unable to prevent myself from saying, "So Jake and Leah huh?"

Embry wasn't fooled for a minute by the light, casual disinterested tone in my voice. He shot me a look of sympathy and concern as he agreed, "Yeah. It's kind of a recent thing."

A recent thing? Her father passed away less than three days ago. The same day I had been over to see Jacob but he wasn't home. Billy had been home and he hadn't said a word about them. What was going on?

I glanced at Embry and made a silent decision. My truck suddenly curved to the right as I pulled over onto the shoulder of the road. The truck shuddered under the sudden swerve and the engine knocked a moment before settling down. Embry looked at me with curiosity, his brows drawn together over his eyes.

"I bet you twenty bucks that you won't tell me what's going on with Jake and Leah." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop and think if I even _had_ that amount of cash in my purse hidden under my seat on the floor board of the truck. I hoped I did or else I'd be turning red with embarrassment for nothing.

Embry stared at me for all of five seconds before he burst out laughing. My cheeks flushed scarlet red and my hands gripped the steering wheel, white knuckled with mortification. I was bribing another wolf for information on my best friend. How far would I sink if he said no?

"Keep your twenty Bella," Embry put his hand over the belly of his blue dress shirt. "It's not a big deal, but it kind of is. None of us expected her."

I shot him a look of confusion.

"Leah," he said upon seeing my expression. "She shifted. Seth too."

My mouth formed that "o" of surprise when given shocking information. "Wow. Jake said Seth was probably going to phase but Leah too?"

Embry nodded his head, his expression grim. "Yeah, it shocked the shit out of us all. Especially Sam."

"Language Embry," I frowned at the curse word.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "It really did freak us out. Nobody ever thought a girl would phase."

"Why?"

"It's never happened before," Embry explained. "There's never been a history of a girl turning into a wolf. It's always the men of the tribe."

"Oh," I tried to sound like I understood, but I was still befuddled. "So a girl's never phased before, but Leah did," I looked to Embry for confirmation of this before proceeding. "So what does that have to do with Jake?"

Embry looked a little uncomfortable and he shifted on the tan leather as he asked, "Did Jake ever talk to you about imprinting?"

I blinked. Imprinting? I searched my memory banks on the conversations Jacob and I had recently but I drew a blank for that word. "No," I told Embry after a minute's pause. "What is that?"

"It's another legend about our ancestors," Embry kept his voice carefully measured as he spoke. "Sam said imprinting is like your wolf finding its soul mate, the person you're meant to be with. You take one look at them and you just know you're going to always be there for them."

"Love at first sight?" I know my brow was furrowed.

Embry shook his head, "Jacob said it was like his entire focus and being shifted. The sun wasn't the center of the universe anymore but she was."

My brain was making the connection however slowly. I swallowed thickly around the lump of sadness in my throat as I tried to come to terms with what Embry had just described. "Jacob imprinted?"

"On Leah," Embry confirmed, looking at me with a pained expression like he didn't want to give me this news. I think he was expecting me to start breaking down and crying. I wasn't so sure I wouldn't. "She imprinted on him too."

I felt numb. I hadn't realized in these past few months how much I had come to depend on Jacob as my best friend and confidant. He was the one who had picked me up and put me together after Edward had left me. He was the one who had always been there, nudging me along to where I could function in mixed company. Jacob was my personal sun, the one who lit my way up out of the low, dark depression that Edward left me in.

What was I going to do without him?

Something in my face must have alarmed Embry because he suddenly grabbed the keys to the truck, cutting the engine off and leaned over the gear shift to stare at me intently. "Bella, say something," he pleaded when my silence lasted over three minutes.

I could feel waves of pain threatening to consume me. My breathing was erratic as I tried to rationalize the blow dealt to me. It wasn't as bad as when Edward left me, but the echo of it was achingly familiar. My gaze became blurry-

*_SMACK_*

It didn't hurt. It shocked me, but it didn't hurt. Embry must have really pulled his werewolf strength. My tunnel vision changed, focusing in on him. I could see Embry looking at his hands which had smacked my cheeks then looking up at me. I imagined we each wore the same identical half horrified, half hysterical looks on our faces.

"Oh jeez," Embry's expression quickly melted into anxiety. "Bella I'm sorry! You were just-. I was just-." He was stumbling over his own apology. "Jake's going to kill me!"

While Embry blustered through his apology and planned his own funeral, my brain and heart were reforming themselves back together. I muttered something to Embry that sounded like, "It's okay."

And I meant it.

Maybe if someone had smacked me to my senses the day Edward left me, I might not have fallen into the ocean of despair that had overwhelmed me for so long. Four months of my life went by that I had next to no memory of, besides the depth of my depression. It had been a lonely, sad place and knowing I had been there once because of Edward, I didn't want to end up there again.

Jacob had helped get me back to my feet emotionally. His friendship had left its mark on me, but in that moment in my truck, I knew I couldn't depend on him forever. If I was going to avoid the walls of my own pity constricting around me, I was going to have to climb tooth and nail by myself, to stay out of the dark pit of my own personal hell.

Embry was still apologizing to me and I finally lifted my head to meet his worried gaze. Whatever he saw in my face, it immediately stopped him talking.

"I'm okay Embry," I was quick to assure him with a tiny smile. He searched my face for hints of stress but I knew he would find none. "You're safe from Jake," I continued, a hint of teasing in my voice.

"Thank god for that!" Embry threw himself back into the passenger seat looking highly relieved. A chuckle escaped my lips before I turned to face the road again. I started the truck back up.

After a few minutes of slowly chugging down the dirt road, I turned off onto the highway that ran through the reservation. "Embry," I said after a few minutes to get his attention. "Look, I'm going to drop you off at Seth and Leah's and go home."

"You're not coming in?"

I shook my head at his question. "I've got something I have to do."

I kept my eyes on the road, but I didn't miss his eyes staring at my profile. "You want me to come with?" he asked after a moment.

I shook my head again. "No. But please give Sue, Seth and Leah my apologies. And if you see Charlie, will you tell him I went home?"

Embry reached up to scratch at his earlobe absently. "Are you sure you're going to be okay Bella?" I could hear the genuine concern in his question.

As I pulled up in front of the Clearwater house, I put my foot on the brake and the truck lurched to a stop. Tilting my head at a tiny angle, my eyes met Embry's as I gave him another smile. This one spoke volumes about the state of my mind as I confirmed, "I think I am going to be just fine."

And I meant it.

After I dropped Embry at Sue's, I drove my truck home at its most stellar speed of 45 mph. I pulled into the driveway, the engine idling as I thought of what I was about to do. The funeral had given me an idea, one I was going to see to fruition.

Edward had taken everything when he left. Photos we took, CD's he had burned for me, Edward got everything. Everything, except for one thing.

It was stupid I know, but to a teenage girl in love for the very first time, a precious memento from the first date could be anything; a napkin from a restaurant, a jersey from a ball game, a pin from a bowling alley, or in my case a receipt from the Italian restaurant where Edward first bought me dinner.

I went upstairs and retrieved my last physical evidence of Edward's presence from within its hiding place. For the past three months I had heard his voice every time I did something dangerous. Three days ago, his voice had fallen silent. I missed it, but I couldn't keep waiting for it. I had to bury him, just as Sue had buried her husband.

I took the receipt downstairs to the kitchen. I wasn't stupid about fire safety. With my clumsy luck I'd set the house on fire if I did this anywhere else. I found a glass bowl and set it down into the ceramic sink. I put the receipt in the bowl and found a candle lighter to burn it with.

I clicked the butane button, a tiny flame popping out of the black tip. I lowered it down to the receipt, hesitating only for a moment to ponder my decision.

Do I stay chained in my own sorrow or do I let go?

I set fire to the receipt.

It was small so it burned to ash quickly. I kept my hand on the water spout just in case. Once the ash had settled in the bottom of the bowl, I found a sandwich baggie and scooped the remains inside.

I took the bag with me out to my truck. The keys were still in the ignition and I started it back up. I set the baggy down on the passenger seat and reversed out the driveway. My destination was the same as before, the bluffs.

I pulled back up the cliffs, closer this time since all the cars were gone. The wind was still fierce as I made my way back over to where Sue, Leah and Seth had set Harry's ashes free into the sea below. I carried with me the little baggy with the ashes. It was time for me to set Edward free at last.

I slowly opened the little zipper lock on the bag. I didn't dump it out immediately, closing my eyes to say one final thought before doing the deed.

_Goodbye. I loved you Edward. Goodbye._

I opened my eyes and turned the bag upside down. Unlike Harry's ashes that spread out wide with the winds, my tiny little clump of ash was snatched up and gone in less than a second.

With that little bit, my shoulders felt a good deal lighter.

"Bella!" I heard my name even as arms snatched me and spun me around.

My vision spun for a moment with the force of the arms turning me and my feet disagreed with the view, turning over each other until I fell into the person who seized me. Long, slender fingers caught me and helped me stay upright, setting me back down.

I gazed up at the boy who rescued me from a mess of his own making. "Embry? What are you doing here?"

"I heard the truck as you went by the house," he explained, his hands still holding my shoulders. "What are you doing here Bella? It's dangerous around these cliffs. People fall accidentally." His words dropped to a lower level as he said, "Sometimes without meaning to." I could hear the unspoken 'Especially you' that usually accompanied those words.

Sadly it was true, so I couldn't really get mad at him for being worried over my safety. I did take a step backwards away from Embry, his fingers sliding off my shoulders. "You said you were going home," he was watching me closely, too closely.

"I did." The ever familiar sensation of nervousness hit me whenever someone stared at me like Embry was doing. I wrapped my hands across my arms, only remembering the plastic bag I held when it crinkled against my cardigan. I let my hands back down to my sides as I told him, "I had to come back here and do something."

"Did you forget something?" Embry glanced at my hands, empty except for the bag. I wasn't going to pollute the ocean with plastic. I pressed the plastic together until all the air was out of it, zipping it back up and rolling it up.

"I had to say good-bye," I whispered. I didn't have any pockets to put the bag into. Embry took the bag from me and folded it, putting it into his pants pocket.

"Good-bye?" he lifted his brows in query.

I worried at my bottom lip as I thought about the boy standing in front of me. Embry was nice boy. He wasn't intense like Edward, and he wasn't as eager to please as Jacob. I missed both of them in that moment, but neither of them was here right now. Embry was here and I felt I could talk to him.

We sat on the bluffs for the remainder of the afternoon. I talked about things I hadn't been able to speak of in a long time. I talked about Edward, Jacob, Charlie and everything. He told me more about imprinting and what to expect from my best friend in the next few weeks. We talked about the possibility of his imprinting and he shied away from a lot of my questions during that conversation.

As the afternoon sun dropped towards the waves, I leaned back on my hands, ignoring the rocks digging into my palms. Or I tried to. Embry noticed my discomfort and suggested we head back down off the cliffs. We piled into my truck once more.

"Clearwaters?" I inquired.

Embry shook his head, his short brown hair fluffing out around his ears. I noticed it was getting a bit shaggier than some of the other pack members while we talked. "My house," he said. "The reception's probably already over."

When I stopped in front of Embry's house, my truck lurching to a halt again, I couldn't help the words escape, "I'm sorry about the bumpy ride."

Embry grinned at me. "A ride is a ride, even if it's as slow as this old thing."

"This old thing does right by me," I argued back in favor of my favorite (only) vehicle.

Embry hopped out and closed the door. Leaning in the open window he said, "You know Bella, just because Jake's going to be tied up by Leah for the next few weeks-"

I laughed at that remark because Embry was being utterly serious. Apparently Leah was a very dominant personality, something we had talked about at the cliffs. Now that she was imprinted on Jacob, fireworks were exploding left and right. Billy had a theory about a dominant Alpha pair. Paul and Embry had a bet going as to who would tear into each other first. I sincerely hoped neither of them won that bet.

"Anyways," Embry continued. "If you want to hang out with me sometime, you know you're always welcome to visit down here. My house is your house. Just don't forget to bring food to feed the wild animals. And Paul."

I was laughing as I pulled away from his house, promising to return to see him soon.

And I meant it.


End file.
